Ambrose Bierce (1842 – 1914 ?)
ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
FORGETFULNESS, n. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
SLANG, n. The grunt of the human hog (Pignoramus intolerabilis) with an audible memory. The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.
– Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
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