Dorothy Parker (1893 – 1967)
“I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.”
“Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.”
“You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.”
“I’m never going to accomplish anything; that’s perfectly clear to me. I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.”
“Four be the things I’d have been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.”
“I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.”
“Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”
“Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.”
“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”
Of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, Parker said: “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
“Living well is the best revenge.”
“This wasn’t just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.”
“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone.”
“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.”
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
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